Divorce · Uncategorized

Three Letters – part 3

An open letter to my boy’s other mother…

You and I began long before we ever met. I knew you from the moment I was a single-mama. Not in the way you know someone’s face or even their voice. The way you know their heart.

I began a constant prayer for you and about you. Digging deep into my own heart and growing a love for you. Telling my boys that someday you would come, some day daddy will love someone else and when he does, go ahead and love her too.

I talked about you often. Reminded them that my heart would always be constant for them, but that you would be the bonus blessing. The extra love. And that they should feel free to love you deeply.

They did.

When you became a part of their lives I saw their joy expand. They had found what I had told them was coming. You made them feel so wanted there, and I can never thank you enough for that.

The first time I saw you I saw His joy in you. And I knew right then why they loved you so.

I told you that, one time over coffee, and I remember you smiled that little sideways smile you offer when something is true but maybe feels a bit too big for your heart.


People say we’re crazy. And maybe we are. But I look at our boys and it all makes sense. They didn’t ask for a divided home. They didn’t ask for parents that were no longer married. And they certainly didn’t ask for the pain that can come with that.

We have given them a whole family in two homes. They go back and forth with just the clothes they are wearing. They BELONG in two places. And you are a big part of that.

You didn’t hold back from them but stepped toward them and stretched out your love, and their little hearts leaned into yours and found joy.

They crawl into your lap without a thought, they consider you theirs. They belong to you.

I didn’t know all the ways He would answer my prayers with you. The way He would make glory from our ashes.

We have not only created a space for them to move freely between us, knowing their loyalty is secure in both places, but you have become one of my very best friends.


We celebrate holidays and just life together. We share joys. When my heart is twisted and just needs some wringing out,  it’s you that listens over coffee and makes sense of the ramblings.

You are a Gift.

I’ve not only grown to love you but have seen in you so much inspiring growth. The way you are discovering Jesus in new ways. The way you love my boys is pure grace, but the way you love their daddy matters too. He’s my friend and seeing the way you fit in the space next to him fills my heart.

You are brave, brave enough to embrace, not only my existence in your life, but my friendship and love.

I will forever be grateful that you were the answer to all those prayers so long ago. And that you CHOSE this life with him, with us.


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